


Just You

by ViolentAddict



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 03:10:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentAddict/pseuds/ViolentAddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash is happy but worried about losing everything he loves while Doc realizes Wash is ridiculous. Feels!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just You

**Author's Note:**

> Love this pairing and the series. So I figured I'd take a swing at it. Plus I think they're cute.

Wash could feel his lungs burning with the effort it took to hold them in place. Even his heart, as treacherous as it already was, threatened to pop out of his chest and fall into the arms of the smaller man currently looking at him with concern in his eyes. Concern Wash couldn’t understand. Sure it was inherent, what with Doc being a medic and Wash thinking he was dying, could feel it happening to him, the pain brutal evidence of the fact, it should’ve even been obvious to someone as clueless with medicine as Doc and yet the younger man just scrutinized Wash with an examination that went on far too long and producing many huffs that didn’t quite hide his frustration and possible confusion as to what the problem was.

In any other circumstance Wash would’ve found it cute.

This wasn’t one of those. “Breathe,” the medic ordered, trying his best to comfort the ex-freelancer by exaggerating the motion so Wash could follow. He tried but it did nothing to placate him. Plus it looked silly. Wash wanted to tell him he was having a panic attack and help me you idiot! But the words stayed safely hidden in the back of his throat. 

“It would help if you took your helmet off.” Doc suggested, his voice so calm and reassuring that Wash automatically didn’t trust it. Doc didn’t let him refuse though. The medic reached up for the clasps of the visor, completely disregarding his personal safety and ignoring Wash’s propensity to become even more lethal when touched.

Wash thought of protesting, the instinct was there because he knew Doc would see the fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty and the anguish among other things etched across his face and would possibly be disgusted or frightened, but as usual and for reasons he struggled to understand, he tampered it down to let Doc do what he needed.

The younger man who had joined Wash on his knees so they were sort of eye to eye, gasped as the tired, stressed out but still so handsome man with eyes that held the ghosts of laughter and happiness, peered back at him with a look that for all the professionalism in the world that he carried very clearly said “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.”

“Wash?” the deceptively soothing voice returned as soft brown eyes appraised him before widening when his brain made the connection. “Wash are you having a panic attack because I told you I loved you?”

The older man attempted to shrug which was hard to do when your heart was beating a mile a minute and Doc felt a brief pang of hurt at the possibility that maybe Wash didn’t love him back. His face fell.

The ex-freelancer wanted to shut up, to get up and walk away despite the fact that he didn’t feel better, he wanted to just leave but one glance at Doc’s look of total abandonment and he found the words spilling out of his mouth on their own accord “It just doesn’t make any sense. The last time someone, anyone loved me I was lovable, happy, unscarred now look at me. I mean who am I kidding, I’m empty most of the time or violent or crazy and what could you possibly see in that?” His whole body calmed in agreement at the revelation as if it was just waiting for someone to say what everybody must be thinking. That the emotionless and cold backstabbing bastard was never going to be good enough for another human being nevermind someone like Doc who was forgiving and loving by nature. Surely even Doc as inexperienced as he was, understood that he deserved someone like himself and that he would never have to settle with the scrapings life had to offer because he was unworthy of everything else. No, he could do better. “I am just bad for you. Believe me I will mess this up,” and he gestured between the two of them, “whatever this is.”

When he finally mustered up the courage to look the medic in the eye he was surprised to find amusement on the younger man’s face as well as tender affection. Before he could react Doc pressed their lips together to silence any further nonsense Wash would pour forth. The kiss was soft and wonderful like Wash often forgot kisses could be, and he could feel most of the stress melt away yet he was still hesitant. Doc sensing this, took the opportunity to break away now that he had Wash’s undivided attention.

“I want you okay?” When the ex-freelancer didn’t answer, Doc elaborated, placing his hands on both sides of Wash’s face so he had nowhere else to look but at him. “I want you when you’re angry or frustrated and yelling and when you’re calm and docile. I love that you love cats and would probably adopt too many because you want to give them all a good home. I love that you kidnapped me but still tried to flirt with me and make sure I wasn’t in danger half the time. I love that every time you say you hate something it really means you’re just trying to figure it out and it’s too complicated. I love you on your good days and your bad days. With all you’re depressed, emotionless glory. Because underneath that tough façade is the man who just wants to be loved. Who wants to believe that anything can happen

Wash you think you have everybody fooled but you don’t. When you can’t even convince yourself that you’re content with dying alone how can you possibly convince anyone else? And please don’t tell me that I could do better because the very thought is absurd. That I would want or need anyone else but you is just ridiculous.”

And that must’ve been the magic words because all of a sudden it was like a switch was flipped in Wash’s body and all too quickly the pain was gone. In a flash Wash hugged Doc to him for fear that he’d disappear like the subject of a beautiful dream allowing himself to touch him and rake his gloved fingers through Doc’s always unruly hair and feel the warmth of Doc’s skin beneath his fingertips.

The panic attack was over but Wash found himself breathing hard for another reason as he connected lips with the peace loving man who was his top most reason to live. They both took pleasure in the automatic dizziness that swept over them as the kiss deepened. And Wash realized that though this wasn’t the hell he knew awaited him, he was going to enjoy every taste of heaven this planet had to offer. Beginning and ending with one annoying, unruly but sweet beyond words pacifist who was currently leading him to the bedroom they shared on the base.


End file.
